I’m sarcastic, mean, and sometimes over power my peers. Are you like that? I can’t handle anger correctly and sometimes have a hard time not being like my father. My father left us (My mother and i) when i was only around the age of turning one. As far as i know he was handsome, he was part of the army, he had anger management (Which explains where i get it from), did more pot then needed, and got a stripper name olgaMiss Loose Pussy pregnant (Edit: Tim went to germany for an army assignment and got drunk and fucked Miss loose pussy one night, came back to Arizona and didnt realize that she was preggo until the army officers or w/e showed up at our door looking for him).She forced him to move her to the U.S. They still live together i think. He used to threaten my mother that he would take me away, we moved and i’ve never heard from him since.
I get told by people around me, that knew him and my mother, that i look exactly like him, i honestly don’t believe them. I’ve grown accustom to thinking about him a lot but i never want to meet him. He is suppose to be a good person but what if he didn’t like me? I get uber depressed when i think about his family. Supposedly he has 3-5 kids and Miss loose pussy is his wife still. It’s…really depressing thinking he would’ve been my father and not theirs. I guess i’m just jealous..
Does he still think of his first daughter that he left?…
Does he think i’m not real?..
It frightens me though, i never understood how someone could leave their child and leave to be with a whole new and other family.
Does He regret leaving me?…
I’m crazy for asking so many unanswerable questions, but i think i’m slowly becoming like Tim and i only see the worse coming true. Doing too much pot, letting my anger take hold of me more than it already has and leaving my family for someone else once i have one. I can’t hold on to people and get to needy and clingy and end up leaving them for someone prettier/nicer/stupider because “i feel like it”
One day either i’ll find him or he’ll re-find me and i’ll tell him i’m the daughter he left as a baby. Maybe he’ll accept me, or maybe he’ll just ignore me. So many questions; i need to stop. I need to just leave. I need to walk away. I need to forget the past and hope there’s a future for me.
“True, i talk dreams which are the children of an idle brain, begot of nothing but vain fantasy”
-Mercutio
Hello sleeping world, today’s blog as been a bit postponed i guess you could call that. I’m in the middle of my own dream and can’t escape, which isn’t a bad thing in the slightest if i do say so myself. I could ask you how you are, and talk non sense but today has been super super busy for you too maybe? My cousin has decided to finally do work for school and is working on her romeo and juliet project as i type this. It seems high school has gotten harder for RL kids huh?
Anyways, on to SL! I literally squealed in real life a few seconds ago. The new Neato shirts are out at Tres blah and god i’ve wanted them for a while <3 I might blog them tomorrow just to show you how fabulous they are!
Other than that today has been a boring day like usual, the scripted birds fly, the primmy grass grows, and the copied clouds keep moving. But i must say i felt happy and uber quiet and complete when i snapped a very pretty picture tonight
I might as well tell you right now i LOVE zombies and butterflies…
Obsessive love…
As in….i stalk butterflies and zombies…
I loooooooooooooove them
I hope you’re night has been wonderful strange friends, let the stars guide you and let the moon keep you company. You’re a stranger to me but i love you because you listen, love you because i can’t see or hear you, and love you because you take the time to read what i have to say
Have you ever had one of those days where you just reorganize and go through EVERYTHING in your inventory? I’ve gone through that all day and seemingly feel more comfortable, even in a virtual world my OCD shows. I’m not an orderly person, trust me, but sometimes i have days where i go through anything and everything that’s in my inventory. I’ll let you in on a secret that probably no one else knows, my inventory is a clusterfuck (Prewarning; i cuss a lot). I swear that if i wasn’t OCD my inventory would be well over 100k items by now, luckily i go through it weekly.
Other than the inventory sorting today nothing really pleasant or annoying has happened, i was tempted to start making shapes again, i get too attached to shapes and end up becoming greedy and not selling them. Otherwise known as using them for myself, it’s a bad habit and i do that when i create poses too! Help! haha, for the pose makers and shape makers out there: Do you ever get greedy and end up just using your creations for yourself and no one else? Tis one reason i’d never open a shop, and then there’s the fact i don’t like seeing 024805207520250938520984209382 people with the SAME shape. It bothers me!
Oh and, miss piggy got revenge on cookies last night, because cookies pissed miss piggy off and she told coke about the late night web came sessions that cookies would have with miss piggy’s roomate. Miss piggy is evil.
My grandmother is cooking for my roomate and i tonight and i can not explain how much of a scent orgasm it is in my house right now, she’s making ham with her speshul sauce, and corn casserole. I swear…i’d share a little with you all it’s so fantastic! It probably wouldn’t be good for most of you seeming as it’s a country thing but w/e we can all be southern red necks tonight
I leave you with A wonderful band tonight, their music is therapy <3
Did you ever notice how bears never seemed to go with the rest of that sentence? Lions and Tigers are both felines….but what about bears? It’s like real life. One person, or group, won’t fit in with everyone else. BE NICE TO EACHOTHER!! k. i’m done with the lesson for today
So, if you don’t know already, today is Fifty Linden Friday here in Secondlife. Also known as “FLF!” I’m in the process of getting through all the stores, but like usual i’m distracted by IM’s an- SHINNEYYYYYYYYYY.
Haha, I’ll have to blog my favorite items this week but for right now I’ve only been able to get through RC cluster and D-lab. Two wonderful stores but nothing interesting in my opinion.
Have you ever noticed how in SL the drama is way more severe than in rl? Maybe it’s just me but the drama today boys and girls is about relationships. Oh yes, the wonderful love bug has struck again and like usual it ends up leaving someone hurt. This time it’s happened to one of my friends…lets call her “Miss Piggy” and lets call the boy of interest “Coke”..and the girl he’s dating? “Cookies”
Soo…Miss piggy was in love with Coke, they’ve been friends since she joined this virtual world. Coke, happened to meet cookies a few months ago. Well…miss piggy didn’t know they knew eachother. See..Miss piggy knows this Cookies very well, to the point she has blackmail of her (Teehee) but anyways! Coke didn’t realize this and now this Coke is dating this cookies, and miss piggy is now upset and has to deal with the nature of planning an invasion and using the blackmail on cookies and Coke. We shall see what happens next
For right now i’m content with pigging out on cookies and coke. This has nothing to do with the story
Have a wonderful weekend everyone
Don’t get pregnant, Drunk and drive, don’t run into the flying monkies and on top of all that BE SAFE!
Lanie Windlow
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