And so she cries

It seems the only way i’m ever able to express myself is by talking to unknown faces….typing into a blog that isn’t even real…my own online world…i could know all of you..i could know one of you…for all i know you’re all my mother…you’re my father…for all i know…you’re my next door neighbor..or the friend i had in 4th grade.

I’m the rude one in a room full of people, and i regret it…i’ve promised myself to not hurt anyone and to love myself for who i am…not who i want to be. I lie to those to make myself feel better, and i like to myself to make the hurt go away

I have no reason to lie or flaunt what i don’t have…what i have is an ugly inside and an even uglier outside.

I portray myself as happy and cheerful to make those i’m close with think higher of me, and all it’s done is kill the ones i had closest to me

I’m

I’m a

I’m a monster

I’m a filthy disgusting excuse of a person

I’m ugly

I’m hateful

The past year that’s what i’ve heard and i’m starting to think it’s true.

I wanted nothing more than to hurt people and make people suffer for my own being

Delete me, mute me, ignore me, i don’t care

You’re just another face

I fear i may still be like any other cruel bitch, but from the lessons i’ve learned this week…i want it to change. Now.

I can help myself, and i can change, i promise.

Currently Listening to: The Road

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